


Disaster Trio™

by Hittinmiss



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bullshit Science, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Gen Z humour, Gender Neutral Pronouns for Loki, Humour, I suppose this can count as, John Mulaney References, LMAO, Language, More character tags to be added as this continues, Shapeshifting, Spite as motivation for a revenge prank, Steve has regrets about doing those, The Captain America PSAs, This Is A Disaster, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Vines, You can't change my mind, a genius a superhero and a god walk into the compound, angst? i don't know her, idk the timeline I'm working on here, just like this trio, no beta readers we die like men, this is the ultimate disaster trio, vibranium makes /anything/ possible, vine references, wtf is heterosexuality, yeet I guess, yikes i couldn't not put in thorbruce yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-06-30 14:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15753678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hittinmiss/pseuds/Hittinmiss
Summary: Maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't turn out bad.Who was Tony kidding, this was going to be Hell.---The disaster trio that is Peter, Shuri and Loki.Chapter 1: Peter and ShuriChapter 2: Peter and LokiChapter 3: Loki and ShuriChapter 4: The Disaster Trio™





	1. Peter and Shuri

The first time Shuri and Peter met was completely accidental.

Peter was rushing to get to the labs, on the verge of running late already for meeting with Tony. Shuri was just leaving the labs to head to the common area for some snacks, having done most of her side of the work. This resulted in the two of them colliding as they rounded the corner, going their different directions.

“Oh my god I am so sorry.” Peter apologised immediately, noticing the couple papers that were in Shuri’s hands having went flying to the ground.

“Ah fuck, I can't believe you’ve done this.” Shuri replied automatically before falling silent. It wasn't as if-

“Was that a Vine reference?”

Shuri looked up and saw who collided with her; someone her age. Her face brightened.

“Ah, I see you are a man of culture.” She grinned. _Finally_ , someone she could actually speak to about things other than science. Someone who would understand her references. She held out her hand. “Shuri.”

“I'm Peter.” He responded, taking her hand and shaking it lightly.

“Now, why are you running?”

Peter snickered slightly before he spoke up. “I'm late to meeting up with Mr. Stark about my web- I mean, some of my tech. He said he’d check up on my progress to make sure nothing could go wrong.”

“Well, I'm heading back there shortly; come get snacks with me first. I want to get to know the one other person my age.”

“Ok then; I'm all for it.”

“Noice.”

•••

“So Peter, I couldn't help but notice that you mentioned the word ‘web’ earlier about your tech. Now, I'm just gonna come out and say it-” Shuri spoke up over her glass of soda, leaning slightly towards Peter over the countertop.

“You don't care that I broke my elbow?”

“No. You must be the Spider-Man that graces YouTube and Queens with your spidery presence.”

Peter froze slightly before sighing in defeat, head in his hands before he looked back at her. He couldn't ever seem to hide that from anyone. “Yup, that's me. I bet you’re wondering how I got into-”

“Nah, don't care about that, I have a feeling I'll get to figure out more about your suit and powers later, depends if Stark will let me get my hands on it. What I want to know is: what’s your opinion on the ‘it is Wednesday my dudes’ vine?”

“Oh.” Peter blanked slightly (she had a completely different reaction from everyone else who found out, two out of the three asking ‘are you an Avenger?’ before the other questions came through) before his cheeks flushed. “Honestly, I was surprised at first but holy shit I have a fan that made a vine about me. I was floored once I realised that.”

“Appropriate reaction.” Shuri nodded in approval. “You must state your thanks by recreating the vine as acknowledgment.”

“Oh I've been planning to but never got round to it.”

“Next time.” Shuri said. “I've also heard through the grapevine that you’ve fought Captain America. What did you do?”

“I shot him in zee legs because his shield is zee size of a dinner plate and he's an idiot.”

“I'm glad you got what I was building up to.” She giggled. “But seriously, what did you do? It would've been difficult to face off against a super soldier.”

“I am not kidding around. Mr. Stark told me to aim for his legs. Plus I also have enhanced strength so that helped.”

“Holy shit.”

“I know! And then I stole his shield-”

“Mr. Parker, boss is wondering why you haven't made an appearance in the labs yet. You are over thirty minutes late.” F.R.I.D.A.Y announced, Peter’s eyes widening in an ‘oh shit’ moment, standing up from the seat at the counter as fast as he could.

“It was at this moment, Peter knew, he fucked up.” Shuri giggled.

“Not helping! I gotta run.”

“Bye Peter! This was fun!” Shuri called, waving as Peter dashed out the common room and right into the labs.

“I am so sorry Mr. Stark I lost track of the time and I was hanging out with Shuri and it was so much fun having someone else here my age and-”

“Woah woah, cool your jets, no need for the long apology Pete, was just curious what was taking so long.” Tony said, waving Peter over to come beside him.

“I see you’ve already met the Princess then.” Bruce spoke up.

“Princess?”

“Shuri. She’s the princess of Wakanda.”

“WHAT?!”

 

* * *

 

“So, can you access friday’s systems and protocols?” Shuri asked the next time she came around to visit the compound, breaking the silence that came once Peter had explained his powers and the suits capabilities to her.

T’Challa was off doing UN business with the accords along with Tony for most of the day, working on the last few details for allowing the rogues to return to the US, which left the pair mostly alone in the compound. Not a good idea.

“Yeah, a couple of them. Mr. Stark kinda learned after the last time me and Ned hacked into my suit to turn off the Training Wheels Protocol so I have pretty limited access.” He shrugged. “I'm sure if I really went for it I could get into all of them though, why?”

“Oh, I just have a couple fun ideas. If you’re up for it of course.”

“Which are?”

“Honey, you are in for a wild ride.”

•••

“Hey kiddo, Princess Smartass, you guys cause any havoc while we were gone?” Tony asked as he passed by the duo in the common room.

“No!” Peter responded, you know, like a liar.

“Ok, I'm gonna be in my lab. Call Fri if you need me.”

“Ok Mr. Stark!” Peter called back cheerily, Tony heading to the elevator to take him down to his lab, smiling because his kid seemed pretty happy at having someone else his age at the compound.

He could probably speak to T’Challa and find some arrangement for the two of them to get to talk more. It'd be for the best; two genius kids, both involved, somewhat, in the superhero business, similar humour from what he’s heard. It’d only bring great things for them to work together.

He set up his work space, ready to get cracking on his latest update to the iron man armour.

“Ok Fri, start up my iron-lab playlist, volume at thirty.”

There was silence for a few seconds as F.R.I.D.A.Y located the playlist.

“Ok, activating ‘scope my soundcloud’ Protocol.”

_Oh no._

The familiar starting notes of Back in Black didn't play. The song that _did_ play was _nothing_ like what Tony usually listened to.

“ _Baby can’t you see, I'm calling~_ ”

“Fri? What the hell?”

“I am playing your playlist boss. The first track is Back in Black.”

“Does this _sound_ like AC/DC to you?”

“I'm sorry Boss, I am just following Protocol.”

“ _Oh, the taste of your lips I'm on a ride. You’re toxic I'm slipping under~”_

“Fri tell Peter to get his ass down here now.”

He was regretting his earlier idea of possibly setting up communication between Shuri and Peter already. Clearly having alone time together caused this mess.

Them two would create terrible, terrible things together.

 

* * *

 

“Tones are you seeing this?” Rhodey called through the comms, looking at the mass amounts of robots they were having to fight.

“Yeah, working on trying to believe this happened again. At least it wasn't my fault this time.”

Why couldn't this have happened like three days later once the Rogues were back in the country and were allowed to fight with the Avengers again (now that they’ve signed the Accords)?

“We can handle it Mr. Stark!” Peter called through.

“Kid, you got any pop culture references that are surprisingly helpful?” Tony asked, half hoping Peter would come up with an idea. “No I, Robots or Terminator or?”

“Well… what if you called like, I don't know, four other suits and then-” Peter started before dodging an attack, destroying the robot that attacked him. “- merge them together into one big robot.”

“Underoos?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm not forming Voltron with my suits.”

“Dammit.”

“Tones, any other ideas?”

“One.” Tony sighed, haven’t having done this command in years. “Fri, House Party Protocol.”

“Activating Protocol ‘it's raining men’.” F.R.I.D.A.Y relayed, calling for the mass amount of working suits, Raining Men also starting to play through the comms.

“God dammit you kids and your stupid memes.” Tony cursed as both Peter and Rhodes snickered.

 

* * *

 

Shuri groaned as she entered Peter’s room at the compound, landing against the bed.

“Rough time?”

“T’Challa is so protective. I can handle myself but _noooo_ , I must stay safe. He got mad at me and we argued.”

Peter looked down at the seat he was in and grinned slightly, maneuvering so the back was facing her as he made a show of sitting down, right arm across the back of the seat.

“ _So_ , you got into trouble.” He started, trying to do his best Cap impression.

Shuri blinked blankly. “I feel like this is a reference to something but I have no idea.”

“Dude, have you never seen the Captain America PSA videos?”

“There's Captain America PSA videos?”

“Holy shit.” Peter gasped. “I need to find the videos but by god am I going to enlighten you. How to convince the teachers I need to borrow the VHS tapes?”

•••

“Holy shit that is the best thing I have ever seen. It _just_ tops my video of T’Challa getting his ass beat by his suit.” Shuri gasped the moment the final PSA finished, wide grin on her face.

“How dare you; you haven't shown me that yet.”

“I will I will, but you can't tell anyone about it because I told T’Challa that I deleted it. Besides… I think we have something more important to do with the PSAs first.”

“Oh my god tonight’s Avengers Movie Night/Trying-To-Bond-As-A-Team-Again Night.” Peter said, eyes widening. “You thinking what I'm thinking?”

“Absolutely.”

•••

“Alright, I won the rights to choose the movie tonight guys, be prepared for Legolas to be with his people.” Clint boasted, holding up the remote victoriously.

Most of them could really have been bothered that night to choose the movie, content for Clint to take the win, though a couple did put up a fight.

Peter couldn't care less, glancing back to Shuri every so often as she discreetly worked on her Kimoyo Beads. After a few minutes, movie barely started, she shot him a grin.

They waited a small while before they set their plan into action.

Bilbo had just vanished from his party with the ring when the movie cut off.

“What the hell?!”

“ _Hi, I'm Captain America. Whether you are in the classroom or on the battlefield-_ ”

“Oh god…” Steve groaned in horror, covering his face with his hands. How did someone ever find these videos? Why did they still exist?!

“Holy shit what are these?”

“ _Today my good friend; your gym teacher, will be conducting the Captain America fitness challenge._ ”

Steve hoped that was the only one that would be shown.

He was so, so wrong.

“ _So, you got detention._ ”

Some of the Avengers, aka Tony, Sam and Clint were laughing their asses off. This was the best thing they had ever seen.

“Who found these? I thought they wouldn't exist anymore.”

“They show them all the time at school. At every single detention they play that.”

“ _But take it from a guy that was frozen for sixty five years; the only way to be cool is to follow the rules._ ”

“Oh my god Capsicle you actually filmed these?!” Tony cackled, throwing his head back in laughter. “I hope you were paid good money for this.” He added before seeing the look on extremely pained Steve’s face. “You didn't get paid for these! That’s just the icing on the cake!”

“ _What would Captain America do?_ ”

“Yes Cap, what _would_ you do?” Sam teased, quizzical look on his face, directed at his friend.

“I’d destroy every copy of these videos.”

“Woah, harsh.”

“ _So your body’s changing. Believe me, I know how that feels._ ”

“Oh my god you did a puberty one!” Clint added, having the time of his life. “I think my kids would _kill_ me if I brought this over to them.”

Tony leaned over to Peter, whispering. “Cap’s gonna make me tell you off later for this but don't believe a word of it. I am so damn proud of you for showing us this. You better have no regrets. Best bonding night _ever_.”

“You think I'd ever regret this? Besides, you’d have to ‘tell off’ Shuri as well.”

“Remind me to get her a gift.”

 

* * *

 

There was a surprisingly lack of Peter around the compound, mainly in the lab space and the common room, the two places he was most of the time, which was worrying Tony a little bit.

“Hey, Fri?”

“Yes boss.”

“Can you locate Pete for me? Make sure he isn't up to mischief.”

“Certainly boss. Give me a few seconds to scan the compound.” F.R.I.D.A.Y announced. “It appears Mr. Parker is outdoors with Thor and Shuri.”

“Ok, show me some visuals?”

On his screen, it showed Peter and Thor talking to one another, Thor holding his axe, listening to Peter intently as Shuri stood back a little, speaking up every so often.

“I better go out and make sure Pete doesn't get himself killed by Pointbreak.”

•••

“Peter why the hell are you holding Thor’s axe- wait how are you even lifting it?”

“The children were showing me a battle cry to increase my power. Shall I show Stark?”

“Yes please Thor.” Peter said, handing the axe back to the god, rushing to beside Shuri who lifted up her Kimoyo beads, starting to film, the duo giggling slightly.

“Ok.” Thor grinned, pulling his arm back. He launched the axe forwards and just as it was off to leave his fingers, he roared “YEET!”

The axe flew through the air before Thor held his hand out, weapon returning to his hand. “Hmmm, I believe that did give some extra power. I shall try it in my next battle.”

“Why Peter?”

“For the vine.” Both he and Shuri responded in sync, recording stopped after that.

“Is there anything else I should be made aware of?”

“Maybe don't train with Steve for a while?"

“God dammit kid."

Why did he let the two teenagers hang out again?

Oh right, because he wanted his kid to be happy.

God dammit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send me a fic request [here!](https://forms.gle/5pjv6EdsomWM9tCi7)
> 
> My tumblr is @hitinmiss !


	2. Peter and Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is technically the first one I wrote but I think the Shuri and Peter one was probably the better one to post first
> 
> But yeet

It all started when he was sitting with Scott in the kitchen, both having just got themselves food and something to drink when Peter noticed a couple of ants on the table.

“Oh, I'll get a brush or something.” Peter said, pushing his chair back to get them off the countertop so they wouldn't climb all over the food or get away with the crumbs.

“No no, it’s fine. I'm literally with my kind.” Scott replied, putting his hand down beside the ants, keeping them in one area on the countertop.

“Oh, yeah.”

Scott grinned for a second before a lightbulb seemed to go off in his head. “Wait right here, keep the ants on the table, lemme show you something. Impresses Cassie _every_ time.”

“...ok?”

Scott stood up and rushed out of the room, Peter trying to keep the majority of the ants on the table, hoping the others wouldn't walk in and watch this pathetic display.

Scott returned after a few minutes with the helmet on his head, securing it before he went to the table with the ants. Before Peter’s eyes, he saw the ants stop moving before starting to make shapes on the countertop; a circle, a triangle then a shape that vaguely resembles a spider.

“Holy shit.”

“I know, right? Cause of the helmet I can, sorta, communicate with them. It weirded the hell outta me the first time I did it.”

“That's so cool! Have you used that before in missions?”

“Yeah, totally. Mission Impossible style.”

“Imagine if I could do that, that’d be pretty cool…” Peter lamented.

“Wait you can't? I thought you would've been able to speak with the Spiders since, you know, you’re Spider-Man and you can do whatever a spider can.”

“I can name several things that spiders can do that I can't.”

“Wow that's lame.” Scott said, ants changing the shape to make the word Lame.

“Wow so mature.” Peter said, rolling his eyes.

The ants moved again.

_Ant. Man. >. You._

“Again, the height of maturity.”

“Exactly. Well, I better get these outta here before Stark takes my behind. Bye kid, have fun being less awesome than me.”

Scott left shortly after, ants following him as he left the room. Peter huffed slightly, rolling his eyes at the thought of Scott thinking he was so great, just because he could make a few ants do some stuff. He was way cooler than Scott.

He pushed his chair back, leaving the kitchen and entering the common room, groaning as he collapsed forwards onto one of the sofas, hardly registering the other person in the room.

“Well that's one way to say hello.”

Peter looked up to see Loki sat there, not even looking up from the book they were reading. Peter tried to read the title but it must have been in Asgardian.

“Sorry. Hey Loki.”

“Oh it's no bother, certainly better than the hidden threats of ‘if you even put a hair out of place, you’re out of here’ from the others, namely your father and the archer. Thank Frigga for Banner and my brother vouching for me.”

“My Father?”

“Stark. Thor has told me about that you know.”

“M-Mr. Stark isn't my dad!”

“Well you could have fooled me.” Loki scoffed. “Now, in light of me trying to convince everyone that I am _not_ going to try kill everyone, what is wrong?”

“Wow, are you trying to show concern?”

“Again, I'm trying to show I am a, and I quote from my brother, ‘better being now that won't try kill everyone on this planet’.”

“Fair enough.” Peter shrugged, pushing himself up to sit upright, tucking his legs onto the sofa. “Just frustrated.”

“Oh no, how so?”

“You don't need to sound so fake about it.”

“It's as hard as it seems to sound genuine about these matters. I haven't exactly done this before so I lack the practice. Anyways, what causes your frustration young mortal?”

“Just about my powers and stuff. What other people can do and what I can't.”

“Well, for one, I doubt anyone will have identical powers to you. Or to anyone else for that matter. The closest _I_ can think of for people having similar abilities is that War Machine fellow and Tony Stank. And why should you care about what the other mortals say when there are many aspects you could be seen as superior, especially on other realms and planets?”

“I mean Mr. Stark and Mr. Rhodes don't have powers but-”

“ _Exactly_.”

“What are your powers Loki?”

“I beg your pardon?”

The thought of _then beg_ ran through his mind before he decided it was probably better not to voice that internet joke. Especially when the person he was talking to was Loki.

“What can you do? You’ve never really told us about them and I'm interested _soooo_ …”

“Well, my powers are magic based. I can create illusions and duplicates of myself. I can shapeshift. I have quite a few tricks up my sleeves. It's strange thinking someone in this building is actually _interested_ in my abilities though…”

“Cool cool cool, noice.” Peter nodded before he paused. “Wait, shapeshifting? What can you turn into?”

“That's what you focus on?”

“What can I say? The idea of shapeshifting is so cool like, imagine how many minds you could blow if you could like, get into the stupidest of places and turn into a horse or something. Like imagine the panic and absolute confusion if a horse got loose in a hospital?”

“A horse in a hospital? That is a rather odd choice. Is there a reason for that?"

“…no reason... But what can you shapeshift into? Please Loki?”

Loki sighed. “Anything. I'm not aware of many limits to it, aside from the obvious.”

“What sorta stuff have you done?”

“Well, I pretended to be Odin and on Asgard many of them believed that I was Odin, or at least never questioned my antics.” Loki explained, feeling a little strange over the fact some human seemed genuinely interested in their powers. “And when we were younger, I used to play this trick on Thor that involved shapeshifting.”

“Come on, you can't say that and _not_ tell me what you did.” Peter said, leaning forward slightly in anticipation.

“Thor loves snakes, so I turned myself into a snake. Then, when he came over to me to admire the snake, I turned back into myself and called out ‘mblergh it's me!’ And stabbed him. We were children when I did this.”

“Oh my god.”

“It worked surprisingly often-”

“It's perfect!”

“What?”

“Loki, please help me get back at Mr. Lang?”

“You want me to stab him?”

“Noooo, can you like… look, I'll figure out the trick later but please help me? I'll owe you one?”

“Fine, I suppose I will help you, young mortal.” Loki said, holding their hand out to Peter. Peter took it and shook it lightly, up down, before releasing.

 

* * *

 

“Mr. Lang! Look!” Peter said, rushing into the common room one day, spider on his shoulder as he went over to Scott. Bruce looked up from his notes.

“Is that a spider you’ve got there?” Bruce asked.

“Yup!”

“Why’d you get a spider kid?”

“Well, I was out with Ned and MJ and we went ‘hey let's go look at the pet store’ and then of course we saw there were spiders and, y’know, I'm Spider-Man so I had to look at them.”

“Ok? Why do you have one now?”

“They’re my new pet.”

“Why did you get them though?”

“We bonded. I looked into the bit with the tarantula’s but this was the only one. Anyways, like, you know that scene in Harry Potter when Harry talks to the snake in the zoo? That happened. It totally freaked me out for a minute when I could just hear some voice speaking to me that MJ and Ned couldn't hear.”

“Wait, you _talked_ to the spider?”

“Yup! I guess I'm getting more powers. I mean, we only really got the spider sense thing sussed pretty recently and that developed a lot later than my other abilities I suppose.”

“That's remarkable.” Bruce nodded, leaning forwards to examine the tarantula that had moved down to Peter’s hands.

“And I don't even need a helmet or anything to talk to them.” Peter said, trying to hold back a snicker at the dirty look that crossed Scott’s face.

 _haHA_.

“So what can you all do with this new ability? I'd very much like to hear more about it.”

“I think I can try speak to them to make them do stuff? I haven't really tried much.” Peter admitted, walking to the counter and putting the spider down, it scurrying across the table slightly. “O-ok, Aragog, um… look at me?”

The spider turned their face towards Peter. (He tried not to flinch, he _hated_ spiders, which was ironic considering him being Spider-Man.)

“Aragog? Isn't that-”

“Yup.”

And so the show started, Peter giving easy enough commands for the Tarantula to follow, the spider following them to the best of their ability. Honestly, if Peter didn't know this was just a prank, he’d think it was pretty cool himself.

He wouldn't admit outloud (to most people) the coolest part was one upping Scott.

Bruce seemed to be impressed and Scott seemed downright _salty_ , especially after Peter got the Tarantula to use morse code to say ‘Team Spider-Man forever’, Bruce snorting once he wrote down the translation and Scott almost pouted.

_Great, revenge feels good._

A ringtone ring out across the room, Scott pulling out his phone.

“Oh, that's Hope. I gotta be going.” He said. “... congrats on the new power. It's… cool I guess.” And with that Scott left the room to answer his phone call, waving as he passed Thor who entered the room, waving happily at Bruce, who returned the gesture.

“Ah Man of Spiders, what have you got there?” Thor asked, looking at Peter, spider in his cupped hands.

_Holy shit it's Thor, oh my god oh my god act cool._

“I-its a Tarantula.”

“Ah, may I admire it?” Thor asked, walking forwards and Peter nodded blankly, still starstruck, and put the spider into Thor’s hands before he realised his mistake.

_Oh no._

“Wait-”

It all happened too fast.

The spider turned back into Loki. “Mblergh it's me!” They called before thrusting their hand forwards into Thor’s abdomen. Peter screamed because _oh god he killed Thor it's his fault Thor’s dead._

“... I thought the situation felt familiar.” Bruce sighed, thinking back to the stories Thor and Loki told him, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Loki I said no stabbing!”

“Specifically, you said don't stab the Ant-Man. My brother is not Ant-Man, he is Thor.” Loki explained, removing the knife from Thor. “Besides, this is a ‘joke’ knife I believe.” Loki proceeded to stab it into their hand, blade pushing back into the handle.

“... what?”

“I am the god of mischief child.”

“Haha! That was a good prank Loki! I very much enjoyed the part where you didn't actually stab me.” Thor grinned heartily, patting Loki’s back heavily, them wincing slightly from the force of the hits. “Fortunate timing of this prank; I was looking for you! Let us go. Bye Banner and Tonyson!”

“Ugh… bye Banner, Peter. I look forward to when I get to enact the favour you owe me.”

Peter was just frozen as Thor walked Loki out of the room, trying to process what the hell just happened.

Bruce raised his eyebrow at Peter.

“Care to explain?”

“Please don't tell Mr. Stark.”

“From one Revenger to a somewhat honorary one since I'm guessing that was you getting revenge on Lang for something, I won't tell him.”

“I owe you my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wild ride continues
> 
> Idk what else to say tbh, lmao. This one was fun to write because I too would employ the help from a god of mischief out of spite of someone else 
> 
> Next chapter is Loki and Shuri which is in Wakanda and features totally not made up science uwu
> 
> You can send me fic requests [here!](https://forms.gle/5pjv6EdsomWM9tCi7)
> 
> @hitinmiss on tumblr! 
> 
> See y'all later


	3. Loki and Shuri

Loki had no idea why they had to accompany Thor to Wakanda. They understood why Thor had to go, considering he was setting up connections and allegiances between New Asgard and the rest of the world. But they had no clue why they were brought along.

Thor only stated that ‘it’d be good for them to get out more’, which was ridiculous but they could hardly do much considering they were already on thin ice in regards to staying on Midgard. It would probably be better to stay behaved than not go along with it.

It was made worse when almost immediately Thor left with T’Challa to discuss matters, leaving them with the Princess of Wakanda who would not stop talking, even for a second. (It reminded him of another teenager he knew. Were all teenagers like this?)

“So, Trickster God, care to explain how your magic works?” Shuri asked, intrigued look on her face, head resting on her hands as she leaned across her desk.

“It’s magic, it is a skill that takes years to develop and I'm sure many concepts of it would be far beyond many simple Midgardian’s understanding.”

“I still wanna know, I want to see if I can incorporate it into technology or make things based on it. Thor and Dr. Strange have both allowed me to examine their ways of transport and any other magical skills they have.”

“Oh, and because the large oaf that is my brother and that damned magician did it, you expect me to also partake in your research.”

“Hmmm, it’d help but imagine this; I release the technology, that could help lots of people and it would have you as one of the key creators. You would be able to take credit for helping so many people. Earth would probably be way more happy to have you here if you showed you were willing to help out, help others.” Shuri explained. “But no matter, I'm sure I could go to Thor, or some other random Asgardian, and discuss this.”

Loki knew it was a trap, but they weren’t going to cave. “Fine, do not annoy me whilst I tell you.”

“Done and done.”

 

“Shapeshifting huh? You seem to be able to take many forms.” Shuri said, looking Loki up and down as they showcased some examples of their abilities before taking a couple notes on her beads.

“Yes, though I'm surprised there isn't a form of your Midgardian science that has a similar effect.”

“Oh there is, outside of Wakanda. It is very primitive though, only allows the facial features to be changed. I had Romanoff show me what she had.” She explained, reaching over into a drawer and pulling out what she was given from the spy. “I haven't really delved into that aspect of cloaking since our spies are very good at blending in regardless. It would probably be simple enough to create though.”

“I see.”

“Though I could alter some of the camouflage tech I've been working on and incorporate some of the aspects from the mask from Romanoff… Ok, I'm going to try something, check back tomorrow and I'll report on my success.”

“And you assume I'm interested?”

“You’ve stayed this long. Besides, I can easily find you. You are in my palace after all.”

 

“I believe I have got it figured out, though there may be some bugs but still very much usable.” Shuri announced as Loki entered the empty lab the next day, looking slightly annoyed at having to be here.

Shuri tapped a few buttons and from the new necklace she now wore, vibranium nanobots spread over her body, changing her form to match what Loki looks like, though she was still her own height and her hair was the same. There were a few holes and mistakes but nothing she wouldn't be able to improve with time or cover with clothing. It was good enough for now.

“Ok, now you change into me.”

With an eye roll, Loki changed their form into Shuri’s, clothes changing as well. “Does this please you?” Loki asked, though it was Shuri’s voice that spoke.

“Greatly. A voice modulator is easy to create, though I think I should have one lying around and wigs are easily accessible. I have great plans for this.”

“Such as?”

“You are the god of mischief, aren't you?”

* * *

Loki had some regrets after hearing the details of Shuri’s plan (what is it and children nowadays in Midgard wanting to cause mayhem? They didn't complain much though, mayhem and mischief was their territory after all). She spent hours, literal hours, giving them a crash course of memes and vines, just so they could accurately impersonate her.

They wished they didn't end up agreeing to her plan when they found themselves, as Shuri, in her lab having people asking Shuri for help and for ideas.

How on Midgard they managed to convince so many people that they were the Wakandan Princess, the head of technology in Wakanda, was beyond them, considering their very lackluster explanations of the machines and tech. They thanked Bruce for giving them some brief explanations of ‘modern’ tech when the doctor last visited. They supposed that the so-called ‘power of bullshit’, as Shuri called it, pulled through.

Why she didn't bother telling them anything about her actual job was also beyond them.

 

Shuri, on the other hand, was immensely enjoying portraying Loki. She felt bad, briefly, when she noticed that most of the people that were aware of Loki’s… previous exploits backtracked and tried to get away from them. But, then there was also some joy finding that she could intimidate the majority of people she came across simply by looking at them.

She started her day as Loki staying in Loki’s quarters, speaking to herself for a while to make sure the voice modulator worked. She also made sure that the cloaking she used was passable. She pretty much just enlarged the scale of the mask Romanoff gave her and used scans she got from the castles security to get their features correct, using some of the invisibility suits she was working on as a base.

And once she departed from the trickster god’s room, that was when the fun _really_ started.

It was easy to set up holograms and the likes, just to add onto the lie. And considering how little most people knew of Loki’s powers and what he could actually do (since no one else seemed to bother asking), she could get off with pretty much anything. Let's hope that she didn’t accidentally get Loki banned from Wakanda forever.

* * *

“Ah Shuri, what are you working on?” T’Challa asked as he entered the lab that Loki was in.

“Nothing too interesting, trying to improve Stark’s technology.” They offhandedly said, pretending to look very busy, despite the fact he had absolutely no idea what the hell the thing even was. It looked like a box with ridges in it. What in Midgard…? “Nice sandals by the way.”

“What?”

“I said nice sandals.”

“Is that sarcasm Shuri?”

“No, I genuinely like your sandals, they are very fashiona-”

“Who the hell are you?” T’Challa interrupted, moving into a defensive position immediately, ready to attack Loki.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Shuri never once in her life-”

“Oh brother you need to take a chill pill.” The voice of Loki called, the ‘god’ entering the room.

“Who are you calling brother?”

Shuri pressed her neck where her voice changer was, voice returning to normal. “I am.”

“Shuri?”

“You got Pranked.” She announced, grinning. “Loki say the thing.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pwetty pwease?” Shuri said, batting her eyelashes at Loki.

“Ugh. Get Rekt.”

“Amazing, absolutely superb you funky little god.” Shuri nodded, making the ‘okay’ symbol with her fingers. “I’m glad I came now though, wouldn’t want to accidentally have caused Loki’s death.”

“Shuri why would you do this?” T’Challa asked, putting his face in his hands.

“It’s fun and you vanished with Thor so we had nothing to do.” Shuri explained. “By the way, Loki, ten outta ten for this experience. The holograms I set up worked amazingly… I managed to prank so many people and I am going to make a compilation of all the reactions and post them online, though Thor seemed disappointed that he couldn’t pick me up when I used the holograms to have a snake going about…”

“That’s because he loves snakes, though you’d think he’d learn not to pick up snakes after the fifth time I stabbed him.”

“How many times did you stab him?” T’Challa asked, morbidly curious.

“Hmmm… probably over five hundred times… I lost count after number one hundred and fifty two.”

“Oh my god.”

Needless to say, it would be a while before Loki was welcomed back into Wakanda. T’Challa was _still_ finding things from that day and handling complaints from his people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o o f sorry for the long delay. Uni work and honestly i had this done for a while but there were parts i wasn't super happy about. I decided to bite the bullet and just post it. I know this one is kinda short and tbh shitty but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I have some smol details left in the big trio chapter to finish and some touch ups but hopefully it shouldn't be too long a wait!
> 
> Send me fic requests [here!](https://forms.gle/5pjv6EdsomWM9tCi7)
> 
> yeet i guess


	4. The Disaster Trio™

By some unseeable force of nature, both the ‘Revengers’ and the Wakandan royal family were both at the compound. At the same time. And as if to add to that joy, Peter was staying for the entirety of the long weekend.

Now, Tony usually could believe that the kid wouldn't get into too much trouble but… he remembers what happened with him and Shuri and heard rumors of what happened with Loki and Shuri in Wakanda. 

But, he felt something almost akin to fear when both Loki and Shuri were dropped off in the same room, both complaining about it being like a daycare, muttering and loudly respectively. Then Peter walked in.

Maybe, _just maybe_ , this wouldn't turn out bad.

Who was Tony kidding, this was going to be _Hell_.

* * *

 

Their pranks started small. They didn't want to pull out the big guns right away and Peter was a little nervous to be doing them to the avengers. Yes he had done them before but… he had his doubts right now. Regardless, he was joining in.

(Loki just gave Peter a look and said “You owe me one for your little stint against the Ant-Man.”)

So they opened google for small pranks, trying to decide what would be funny and what not, until Shuri’s eyes landed on one.

“Oh my god we have to.”

“Shuri, how are we gonna do it without getting caught? That’ll take a load of time to set up.”

“Peter Tonyson-Parker, you will distract Stark.”

 

Tony was smiling as he returned from Peter’s lab, feeling happy that he was being included in Peter’s life more and more. It was probably an easy enough project that the kid had to build for his ‘shop class and he could have managed fine on his own but having Peter come up to him and ask him to accompany him…

Plus the puppy dog eyes. May warned him about those but he couldn't resist the kid.

So a fun couple hours were spent working on the project, blasting AC-DC (Tony felt a hint of pride when Peter asked Karen, who was programmed in his lab, to play the band. He was raising his kid well.) singing along and just chatting. He couldn’t wait to message May the updates for the day. And no, he did not plan to go through Karen’s recordings and get a small video saved of the event. Man he loved that kid, so thankful that May let him stay in Peter’s life.

Didn't expect the father figure aspect but it was a welcome addition, one that would have had Tony of five years ago scoffing. 10/10.

“Ok Fri, open up mark 50.” Tony asked, readying his bench to work on the suit.

The case opened to show the fiftieth rendition of the iron man suit…

“What the fuck.”

Completely drowned in jelly.

“Fri open all them up.” All the doors slid to the side, revealing all the current Iron Man armours in his lab, all jellified.

“ _How the fuck_ , where did all this jelly come from? How… what? It makes no…” Tony started before he stopped talking, coming to the realisation of what… who happened. “Son of a bitch.”

* * *

 “Hey kid, I'm going out for a while. Don't cause too much havoc with your… squad.” Tony said, looking at the faces of the kids (and Loki) in the room. “I will not hesitate to send you right back to your aunt’s, especially after that jelly stint this morning.”

“Don't worry Mr. Stark!” Peter grinned and Tony almost, almost, felt compelled to trust him.

“Uhhuh… _sure_.”

“Can we get a McDonalds?” Shuri asked.

“I won't be back for a couple hours but, sure. I'll be a good babysitter.”

“How can you be Peter’s babysitter if you are his father?” Loki asked, eyebrow raised.

“You… you are on thin fucking ice.” Tony threatened, pointing and glaring at the god before he waved to Peter, leaving them alone.

“Why didn’t he deny it?!” Peter asked no one in particular.

“‘Cause he is your dad~” Shuri sang.

“Boogie woogie woogie.” Loki completed.

“Oh my god you guys. Blocked and reported.”

 

“Don’t you think it’s rather muggy outside?” Shuri asked, sipping a hot chocolate from a bowl.

“Ah, I concur,” Peter agreed, taking a sip of his drink from a saucepan, “Don’t you agree Loki?”

“Yes, truly muggy weather.” Loki nodded before they, too, took a drink from a teapot.

“Shuri, I need you to-” T’Challa started as he entered the common room before he looked at what was in the trio’s hands. “What?”

“Brother, don’t you think it’s rather muggy outside?”

“If I look outside and Stark’s lawn is covered in mugs, I swear to Bast I am taking you straight back to Wakanda and you’ll be locked from the lab for a week.”

“No you won’t.”

 

 **Kitty Cat:** stark your kid, my sister and Loki put all the mugs outside

 **I am Iron Man:** and asked if its muggy outside? Peter has done that before

 **I am Iron Man:** it wasn't funny the first time why did he do it again 

 

 **Strongest Avenger:** Tony; the kids and Loki hijacked Fri again.

 **I am Iron Man:** what did they do

 **Strongest Avenger:** She’s only speaking in vines and memes. Anytime I enter a room, she plays ‘here comes that boy’, to which they echo ‘oh shit waddup’. They even got Loki to do it.

 **Strongest Avenger:** I searched what it was. Its a frog on a unicycle. I don’t know how to feel about this. 

 

 **Capsicle:** the kids keep talking in german accents around me

 **Capsicle:** and they keep saying stuff about me and referencing stuff about me

 **Capsicle:** is this why in spars you all aim for my legs???

 

 **Mr. Unusual:** stark do you care to explain why my sanctum and my room at the compound has ‘relics’ from the set of Harry Potter and other fantasy series?

 **I am Iron Man:** oh my god

 **Mr. Unusual:** Christine came over for a brief catch up and asked what relics were. I had to try bullshit explanations because I couldn't tell her kids pranked me and put merch everywhere. That sounds like a bullshit excuse. 

 

 **Wasp:** stark we need to talk about your kid and his friends

 **I am Iron Man:** what have they done now

 **Wasp:** some of mine and scott’s tech have gone missing

 **I am Iron Man:** oh no

 **Wasp:** they’re probably tiny at the moment. I don't want to think what this will cause

 **I am Iron Man:** it could be worse??

 **Wasp:** two of the enlarging pods are missing as well

 **I am Iron Man:** _o h  n o_  

 

 **Pointbreak:** stark tell your son to stop playing with my axe

 **I am Iron Man:** how do you know it's him?

 **Pointbreak:** your son is the only other being at this compound who can lift the axe, other than myself, assuming Vision isn’t here

 **I am Iron Man:** ah

 **Pointbreak:** it is also stuck to the ceiling with webs

 **I am Iron Man:** yep that would definitely put the blame on him

 

Tony really, _really_ was considering getting the kids and Loki the Mcdonald’s but…

“Hi, welcome to the McDonald’s drive through; may I take your order?”

 

Tony entered the compound, locating the trio sat on the floor, who all turned to look at him expectantly, waiting for their McDonalds. He raised his single black coffee to his lips and took a _long_ sip before walking down to the labs.

“Oh my _godddd_.”

“That is the most iconic thing I’ve ever seen.” Shuri stated before turning to Peter. “I stan your father.”

* * *

Peter headed down to the labs, deciding just to start working on some of his homework in there.

_Huh? That's odd, the lights are on. Fri said there was no one in here…_

He slowly pushed open the door and

_oh… that's Thor and Dr. Banner… kissing. Welp I'm outta here. I really did not need to see that today. Never gonna get that outta my mind._

Peter turned around and left the lab area in a calm and orderly fashion*.

*in this situation, calm and orderly means that Peter sprinted the fuck away from there, trying not to scream.

And he continued this way, all the way to the quarters where Loki was staying, slamming the door open to reveal Shuri painting Loki’s nails. How she managed to convince them to let her do their nails Peter had no idea but he had more pressing things on his mind (though if he could, he would one hundred percent be joining this nail party).

“Loki did you know Thor and Dr. Banner are together?!”

“Uh what?” Shuri asked, looking up from Loki's nails.

“Oh, yeah. By Asgardian laws they are married.”

“WHAT?!”

“I wasn't sure if you lot were aware of it, which is why I never brought it up.”

“I, what, um? Explain the set of circumstances.”

“Alright so, Asgard fell but Bruce was one of the ones who helped save her people, so that already had Bruce in their good books. And on Asgard, being powerful and being a scholar are both valued traits that are respected; both of which Bruce possesses. Plus he is friends with Thor. This made the Asgardians decide that Bruce was more than welcome to spend his time there.”

“Makes sense.” Shuri nodded.

“So Bruce has been splitting his time between New Asgard and here and during their time together, somehow, my brother and Bruce became romantically involved and Thor started to court him.”

“What the…”

“And deciding that, who knows when the next big world ending event will happen so they might as well get married and spend their time together while they can.”

“That… makes a lot of sense. Though why didn't they tell anyone?”

“Bruce likes his privacy.”

“Oh, yeah. Valid.”

“And added bonus is that if that níðingr Ross tried anything, he can't. By our laws, Bruce is now an Asgardian, and betrothed to the _king_ at that. He can do _nothing_.” Loki added, smug, satisfied look on their face.

“So…”

“... I know where Mr. Stark keeps the party supplies.” 

 

“Kid, why is there a congratulations banner up?” Tony asked as he entered the common room, joining the crowd of confused faces.

“I tried asking him earlier but he refused to talk.” Bruce replied, side eyeing the grin that was on Peter and Shuri’s faces.

“Well, now that everyone is here, we have an important announcement!”

“Which is? Are you two dating?”

“Nope! One even bigger.” Shuri grinned.

“Well, please enlighten us.” Sam said, rolling his eyes at their antics.

“Congratulations Thor and Dr. Banner-”

“What did they do together?”

“Oh no.” Bruce muttered, colour draining from his face, realisation sinking in.

“-on your marriage!”

It took a couple seconds for that to settle in, but once it did, it erupted chaos throughout the entirety of the room.

“What?!”

“No way!”

“Is this true?”

“Who told you- Loki why did you tell them?” Bruce started before shifting his gaze to Loki, who shrugged.

“It was Stark’s son who walked in while you were giving each other affection. I merely explained what was up when he asked.”

“What!”

“Bruce, what the hell?! Why didn't you make me your best man?” Tony asked, giving Bruce a look.

“I, um-”

“Cause I was.” Brunnhilde announced, grinning from behind her bottle.

“Bruce! We’re Science Bro’s! I am _betrayed_.”

“We were trying to keep it small! We were gonna do one here eventually but we just did a small, Asgardian wedding.”

“Hell yes you are going to have on here. And I’m your best man, the rest of you losers can fight for other roles.” Tony said, pulling out his Starkpad and already rapidly typing away on it.

“Tony you don’t need to-”

“Shhh, i’m gonna make this the best wedding ever. Should I invite Ross just to show him he can’t do anything to you anymore? Hmmm no a wedding shouldn’t have spite as a main motive.” Tony thought aloud. “No, not inviting that dickhole. He’s not gonna make you sad on your big day.” Tony walked out of the room, already planning the wedding, not taking no for an answer.

“So… you two are really hitched?” Sam asked, to which Bruce sighed and Thor placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, me and Bruce have been married for around two months now. And they have been two amazing months.”

“I'm happy for you two.” Steve congratulated.

“‘Bout time you guys knew, was annoying as Hel keeping quiet. But… you guys are not prepared for how much affection they show each other.” Brunnhilde added. “So, Little man, any chance I can be your best man again?”

“Sorry, that's Tony’s role this time.”

“Fair enough. Sparkles, you up?”

“Sorry Brunn, that honour goes to my favourite sibling!”

“Oh, Hela’s back?” Loki asked, smirking.

“Who the hell is Hela?”

“Fine then, i’m officiating.”

“Oh hell yes.” Peter grinned. Brunnhilde was an absolute _blast_. Her officiating a wedding? That is going to be an experience he _wouldn’t_ want to miss.

“So,” Clint started, resting an elbow on Bruce’s shoulder, “what's it like to be married to the hottest and strongest Avenger.”

“I um-”

“It's a great privilege, I’m very lucky.” Thor cut in, grin on his face.

“Thor you cheesy _fuck_.”

 

**Buzzfeed**

Does the Avengers is Gay? 

For while now, there has been speculation about whether the Avengers are gay or not. Now, from an inside source who wishes to remain unnamed, and with Thor and Dr. Bruce Banner’s (second) wedding coming up, the truth come out.

Yes. Yes they are.

Posted 21/08/18 7:35pm by User Queen Pan-ther 

* * *

“Hey, Mr. Stark? MJ and Ned just texted; can they come over?”

“Kid, I'm dying taking care of two kids and Loki. I can't imagine five. Plus, the Guardians are trying to make plans to stop by for a while and they’re taking Nebula… and you know I practically adopted her and then there’s Groot...”

“You have adopted so many of us… Me, Harley, Nebula, somewhat Shuri and Groot… do I have any other siblings I should be aware of?” Peter asked teasingly.

“Oh shut it.”

He would not be admitting that he had heard about a girl over in MIT who was seemingly making a damn good version of an Iron Man suit who he’d be paying a visit to in a weeks time and more than likely offering her a job for when she graduated. Nope, he’s definitely not telling Peter that, the little gossip.

“So yeah, can Ned and MJ come over?”

“No.”

“This is biphobia Mr. Stark.”

“How?”

“I’m bi and this inconveniences me.”

“That would be heavily hypocritical of me Pete. You know this.”

“Boo. I thought you were the cool dad. Your favourite child is so sad.”

“I wasn’t aware Nebula was here already.” Tony teased. Who was he kidding, Peter was his favourite.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this. I am disgusted, I’m revolted. I dedicated my whole life to stanning you and this is the thanks I get?”

“Deal with it Kiddo.”

 

Peter returned into his lab, Shuri tinkering with some spare webshooters and Loki was just, there, chilling.

“Ughhhhhhhh…”

“What is up Kyle?”

“Dad won’t let me have Ned and MJ over. It sucks.” Peter groaned, hands sliding down his face in disappointment before he froze. “I, um, mean, I… Mr. Stark.”

“He’s your dad now, it’s canon.”

“Please ignore that and help me get back at him?”

“We thought you’d never ask.” Loki smirked.

 

Tony knew he made a big mistake saying no to Peter on the grounds of his friends coming over. He knew the moment he saw Peter’s face afterwards when he returned from a two hour long Stark Industries meeting. He hadn't even taken a step into the room when loud footsteps played through FRIDAY before:

“Da-ddy? Do I _look_ like-?”

Tony just turned right back around and left the room. Yet he wasn’t safe when he returned to his lab to see it covered in post-it notes.

Not even DUM-E, U or Butterfingers were spared.

And as the icing on top of the cake;

“Now playing Despacito.” FRIDAY announced. Tony sighed as he started to peel off the post-its on the important stuff, the song playing loudly in the background. He was never going to let the three of them be in the same room together ever again, let alone the same building.

During FRIDAY’s fourth loop of Despacito, Tony’s eyes caught the one post-it with writing on it, right on DUM-E’s side, almost out of sight.

_Gotcha ;p! I know i’m really your favourite though. Oh, to get Fri to stop looping Despacito you need to say ‘press f to pay respects’. She’ll say f and it’ll stop :DDD It was fun getting to do this though with my friends, thanks for letting me chill with them! - Underoos_

Okay, maybe he’d let them be in the same building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! It's over!!!
> 
> thorbruce is canon king. I am too weak, I had to make it official. Just assume that in any fic, unless I state otherwise, them two are a thing. The only exception would be if I did thor/bruce/valkyrie, also a very valid ship
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed it. This really went places, didn't it?
> 
> Remember you guys can send me requests if you'd like and come scream at me on tumblr @hitinmiss !!!
> 
> Send me fic requests [here!!](https://forms.gle/5pjv6EdsomWM9tCi7)
> 
> Thanks y'all for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> (Scene not pictured: Tony working on making Irontron possible with his suits after seeing how disappointed Peter was when he said no)
> 
> And this is the start of a very probable ride which is the disaster trio. It's a lot of fun writing these chapters
> 
> The Peter & Loki one is pretty much done, Loki & Shuri needs a little bit more work and the entirety of the squad needs some ideas/etc so  
> If any of y'all have any snazzy ideas that the three of them could get up to? Lemme know!
> 
> Come hmu on Tumblr [here!](https://hitinmiss.tumblr.com)  
> Send me fic requests [here!](https://forms.gle/5pjv6EdsomWM9tCi7)


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